Stonehaven rail survivor speaks for the first time: the truth about what happened, the aftermath and a heartfelt message to others

A first-person account of the Carmont derailment has so far never been heard.

The only information that has ever been made public has been from official channels like the police, rail investigators and transport authorities.

But one brave survivor has decided to change this.

The 32-year-old woman, who is local to Stonehaven, was a passenger on the train that day.

She suffered two permanent injuries – a facial scar and a permanent disfigurement to her left shoulder – after she was thrown across the carriage and out of a window.

She has never before spoken because she was never given the chance to speak about her own trauma, in her own words and on her own terms.

Now, she is ready to share her thoughts and memories to help people understand the gravity of the incident and why this prosecution is so important.

But most importantly, for her, is the chance to send a poignant and sincere message to the family of Donald Dinnie.

Recalling the derailment

“I didn’t realise what was happening until just before impact.

“I was reading a novel on my iPad and the first time I realised there was an issue was when the movement on the train felt weird.

 “It just didn’t feel typical… it was like floating or sliding… like when you aquaplane in a car.

“There was a strange noise like metal dragging along metal. I will never forget that noise.

“I looked up at that moment and almost immediately I was thrown across the carriage.

“I hit the window head on and I was knocked out.

“The next thing I remember was waking up at the side of the railway line and I could see the train behind me.

“The train was completely off the rails.

“The carriage directly behind me was laying across the rail track, crushed under another carriage. I later found out that the crushed carriage was the one that I had been ejected from.

“I could see a fire and smell smoke.

“I became aware very quickly that I was hurt.

“There was blood over my face from a head wound near my eye.

“My clothes were also covered in blood and I could feel a bone sticking out my left shoulder.

“My ears were ringing so it was hard to make things out.

“But I remember two sounds – one was a weird deep humming noise coming from the train and the other was a voice… a scream… someone calling for help and someone else shouting back that help was coming.

“I was just sitting in shock.

“At some point I was approached by some Network Rail workers who were under the bridge when the derailment happened.

“I later spoke to another passenger who was travelling on the same carriage as me – it became clear from the information they were telling me that about 15 or 20 minutes had probably passed from the moment of the derailment to the moment I woke up on the verge.

“I just sat there.

"A short time later I was told the area was too dangerous, so I managed to get myself to safety.

"I lost all my belongings in the crash, so I relied on both another passenger and members of the public, to tell my family I was alive.”

The aftermath

“There’s too much speculation about everything that has happened and there’s been very little support from Network Rail.

“Survivors have to live with the memories and trauma while families have to live with the losses.

“For me, it felt like Network Rail forgot I was even there that day. I feel like their duty of care to me got lost.

“I was never given the chance to go back to the scene after 12 August 2020.

“I feel like going back would have helped me mentally process things… to help understand the derailment so I could move forwards.

“Anyone who’s been involved in something like this knows you just need to know these things.

“Even if it’s hard, you just need to know.

“It made me angry to watch people like the royal family and politicians at the scene when I hadn’t been given that same opportunity.

“I blame Network Rail for making my mental trauma worse.

“I’m totally changed as a person – I’m a lot more fearful now whereas I used to be more easy-going.

“I even struggle to be a passenger in a car. It’s like you can’t feel safe unless you are literally in control of everything.

“I do still take the train – it took a long time to get the confidence but I’m getting there.

“I am proud of myself for facing my fears of getting on a train.

“I panicked the first time I got back on a train. My mum would come on the train with me so I could go to work.

“Any movement and noise that are even remotely similar to the derailment continue to freak me out.

“It all comes down to control.

“I no longer trust Network Rail to keep me safe.

“My coping mechanism on trains is that I pick certain seats and avoid vestibule areas and the places on a carriage where people stand, because I now know firsthand that there’s zero protection if you’re standing.

“I can’t sleep on my left side because of the damage to my collarbone– it also stops me wearing normal clothes, because it’s now not possible to wear certain bras due to the pain of the strap on my shoulder.

“I am reminded of the derailment every day when I look in the mirror. The scar on my face is a constant reminder of that day, but also a reminder that without it I wouldn't be alive.

“I’m really grateful to my family who had to step up and help me with everything.

“I especially want to thank my husband who had to help me with even the most basic tasks, like brushing my hair, in the months after the derailment.”

The RAIB report and prosecution of Network Rail

“The RAIB report findings made me angry and I’m still angry today.

“The sheer volume of mistakes that were highlighted just left me speechless.

“From the RAIB report I learnt the only reason I survived is because I actually went through the window – the investigators confirmed this because they explained carriage D, which is where I was sitting, was completely destroyed in the seconds after the derailment.

“I don’t know why I survived. But I feel lucky every day that I did.

“The train derailment was not an accident. It was the result of Network Rail’s absolute negligence.

“Network Rail failed me and everyone else on the train that day.

“I am glad Network Rail is facing criminal repercussions for their failures.

“The prosecution is important because it’s not just about punishing Network Rail – it’s about recognising the value of the victims, their families and restoring the public’s faith in the rail system and even justice itself.

“But even now, Network Rail have only implemented a very small number of the RAIB’s recommendations.

“Too little has been done to ensure the safety of both passengers and staff since the derailment in 2020.

“The shocking truth is that I am no safer now on the railway than I was three years ago.”

For Donald

“I do have moments when I feel guilty about surviving especially when I think about the conductor, Donald.

“I remember him being a chatty and genuinely nice man.

“I spoke with Donald that day about the possibility of the weather stopping us from making it to our destination. He made sure I had access to the train wi-fi, so I could notify my family of the delay.

“Donald spoke to me about his partner, even joking that the weather would mean he’d get to finish early and was excited to get home.

“He kept us all informed, thinking of other people the whole time and making sure we were all okay.

“When I learned he died I felt an overwhelming sadness.

“I couldn’t understand how Donald was standing talking to me one minute and gone the next.

“If I’m honest that’s my main motivation for talking now.

“I want Donald’s family to know he was happy that day, thinking of his loved ones the whole time and above all else, he made us feel safe.

“I’m truly sorry you lost him.

“I never got the chance to meet Brett or Christopher, but my thoughts are also with their families.”